Chocolate v Tomato.
(This screencap series does not do this moment justice.)
Danny was nervous about ringing Simmo. Ringing people other than his mum and Jonah was another one of the things he was scared of. He was scared that the person on the other end of the phone wouldn’t remember who he was. That they would say, ‘Danny? Danny Griggs? Never heard of you.’
He figured that someone who called him a gutless wonder wouldn’t actually know who he was. Perhaps he would have to introduce himself as Gutless Wonder and remind Simmo that he was the one who had spent the last couple of days following him around and spying on him from a wheelie bin, and the one who wrote on his face with green pen.—The Gorgon in the Gully by Melina Marchetta (via leaningonthesideofwonder)
Daniel & Henrik’s tiebreaker ends in a tie (+)
We all know what romantic novels are: stultifying tales of boring female matters—relationships, friendships, and unrealistic depictions of men as champions. But even a Man as certain of his answers as I am can surely open his mind long enough to slam it shut.
Yes, my readers—I, a Man, read a romantic novel. The novel in question was a modern book, published in 1879. It was entitled “Her World against a Lie: a Romance,” and the author was Florence Marryat.
Men, having undertaken the reading of this novel myself, I beseech you: Do not under any circumstances read romantic novels.
You are far better off believing that women read romantic novels to sigh over unrealistically handsome, charming depictions of men. By all means, retain your innocence on this front. In fact, stop reading now, because I am about to describe the shocking heart of what lies in women’s breasts.
This book starts off with the character Hephzibah Horton—an unmarried woman of some forty years who shows no wish to correct that state, and indeed, supports herself in style through her writing, and admonishes others with things like: “What else can you expect when you put yourself in the power of a man?”
Now, we are all familiar with the figure of the ludicrous, sad, embittered man-hater, gracing many the pages of a fine novel. But Miss Horton is not ridiculous, nor is she embittered; in fact, she makes the men around her look ridiculous. More importantly, the book itself—centering around the trials of one Mrs. Delia Moray—explains in great detail how women in bad situations (according to the book, almost all marriages)—can get free of them by making use of the legal system. It reads as half fiction/half guide for all oppressed women.
I had expected an optimistic, shiny tale wherein a woman was saved from certain disgrace by a man. Instead, I got a gritty tale of a woman beaten by a drunkard who was saved by other women.
In the end, Miss Horton does marry, as one expects of such a genre—but she retains her own name and chooses a husband she may henpeck.
Even I, an Actual Man, quailed before this romantic novel. All you lesser specimens out there might actually perish.
Men: Take my advice and avoid these at all costs.
The story behind this: When I got this ask, I thought, huh, it would be fun to read a romance from the 1880s! So I googled for novels written in that time period and chose this one basically at random. (I have ten billion other things to do but whatevs.)
GUYS. THIS 1879 NOVEL WAS MISANDRY AT ITS BEST AND BITTEREST.
I seriously chose it at random. I will write up a more comprehensive review of this when I don’t have ten bazillion other things to do but yeah.
Apparently the author’s husband was an abusive asshole who did things like try to have her living mother declared dead (!!) so he could grab her pension. She wrote to support her family, and eventually got a separation from her husband.
This book should be subtitled: How to get rid of a husband, A MANUAL WITH CHARTS.
It contains passages like this:
Yes, romance novels: giving women unrealistic expectations about men since…oh, wait.
(As a note, this book contains graphic domestic violence and a whole ton of casual racism.)
If jeff carter wasn’t a professional athlete he would be that guy who wears flannel everyday and never shaves his beard and drinks black coffee and eats pancakes with too much syrup at a local diner
Text post bandwagon —>David Backes and Dogs
sometimes when i’m sad i’ll pick up the piper’s son and read all georgie finch’s chapters and cry
If multiple people are telling you he’s a shithead, you should probably listen to them.
Haha this is not about ME really, I was talking to a friend and I got all stressed out over what she was telling me (THIS SEEMS TO HAPPEN A LOT), and thought “OH NO WHAT IF THIS HAPPENS TO ME AS WELL.” But now that I think about it rationally:
SO the likelilood of that ever happening seems PRETTY NON EXISTENT
i stood on a shard of tile once it made a hole in my foot IT KILLED but i remained calm while my SISTER screamed (she didn’t like blood) so my grandma thought i had punched her or something! also you’ll be fine re: boys, just avoid milan lucic ;)
BUT JORDAN, WHAT IF HE DOESN’T AVOID ME
Anyway that’s terrifying but also vaguely amusing hahaha.
I feel the urge to organise a massive sleepover so I can pick everyone’s brains about CHEMISTRY and by chemistry I mean ROMANCE not BETA LACTAM STRUCTURES or something like that
petrichorandpie replied to your post “smallthingsnoticed replied to your post “can somebody make me a trashy…”I thought ~trashy~ music was like GLORIOUSLY REPETITIVE POP MUSIC. but. dance till you pass out music sounds nice.
ooh gloriously repetitive pop music sounds fitting too hahahah
SORRY I don’t have time right now to make an 8tracks mix but this is my GIRLS + pop mix:
All Night Long (feat. Missy Elliott & Timbaland) - Demi Lovato
Beautiful Dirty Rich (Tla mix) - Lady Gaga
Sexy Lady - Jessie J
Show Me What You Got - G.R.L.
Word Up! - Little Mix
Woo Hoo - Kesha
Fast In My Car - Paramore
SuperLove - Charli XCX
Shut Up And Drive - Rihanna
Really Don’t Care (feat Cher Lloyd) - Demi Lovato
Angel - Mr Little Jeans
It’s My Party - Jessie J
Brokenhearted - Karmin
Ugly Heart - G.R.L.
C’Mon - Kesha
Who’s That Boy (Feat. Dev) - Demi Lovato
Popular - The Veronicas
Take Me Home - Cash Cash feat. Bebe Rexha
Something That We’re Not - Demi Lovato
Bullet - Jessie James
Rabbit Hole - Natalia Kills
I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week - Mandy Moore
I Will Never Let You Down - Rita Ora
Girlfriend - Icona Pop
That’s Not My Name (RAC Mix) - The Ting Tings
You Da American Girl - Bonnie McKee vs Rihanna
Body Language - MAUSI
Va Va Voom - Nicki Minaj
Tonight I’m Getting Over You - Carly Rae Jepsen